Squat-Butts & Blue Jeans

Squat-Butts & Blue Jeans

I hate shopping for clothes. Particularly, blue jeans. Nine times out of ten, shopping for blue jeans is a horrible experience for me. In fact, within the last 6 months I’ve been shopping for jeans twice. And twice, I’ve come home with nothing.

Buying jeans can be a complete time-waster. Besides the fact of having to go in the store and try each and every pair on, I suffer from SBS…


For those of you who aren’t familiar with SBS it goes like this. You go to the gym, get in the squat rack, put the bar on your back and start squatting.

Over time, as you do this more and more your glutes become well-developed. Big, round, rock-hard glutes. Also referred to as “squat-booty”.

Though squat-booty is a great thing to have, it can also be a pain in the ass (no pun intended) when shopping for jeans. For average males, shopping for jeans isn’t that bad of an experience. Go to any skinny leg blue jean store and you can find something to stick your chicken legs into.

If you’re stuck in skinny jean land, you can do something about it. First, you need to squat and put some muscle on those thighs. Second, you need to eat so those thigh muscles have something to grow into.

Skinny Jeans Recommendation:  Stop Wearing Skinny Jeans!

It’s a fact, real men don’t wear skinny jeans. Fit in ‘Regular’ jeans and you’re just above being a pansy. If you squat often and you still fit in regulars, then you need to eat. Fix your problem, now. Go squat. Go eat.

For the rest of us guys who suffer from SBS, we don’t have it that easy. It’s hard to find jeans that fit big quads, a big butt and a small waist.

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Finding the Perfect Fitting Blue Jeans

I’ve given up way more than I have been successful in finding jeans that fit my athletic build. It gets to be very frustrating over time when shopping for jeans. However, I’ve learned some things along the way that might help if you’re anything like me when shopping.

1) Save the tags. if you have jeans that do fit, save the tags or take pics of them so you can refer back to what works well later when you buy jeans again.

2) Don’t be afraid to try all brands. You never know what might fit. I’ve tried on $100 jeans, I’ve tried on $20 jeans and I’ve tried on all the ones in-between. What I’ve learned is that just because the price is higher doesn’t make the jeans fit better.  I recently bought two pair of jeans for forty bucks after striking out with expensive jeans.

3) Cheap blue jeans aren’t bad jeans. They’re just cheap. I’d rather spend $20 on jeans that fit than spend $100 on jeans that don’t.

4) Accessorize when trying on jeans. Bring your belt and shoes. You want to know how the jeans are going to feel and what they’re going to look like when you’re wearing them. This step will take you a bit longer trying clothes on but it’s better than having to take the clothes back once you realize they don’t fit.

5) Get lean and stay there. Why are you buying new jeans to begin with? Are you becoming a fatty? Best thing for your body and your budget is to drop the fat and stay that way.  You can get back on track now by picking up a copy of Six Weeks to Lean.

Unless you have a rough line of work, jeans should last you a long time. Keep your waistline in check and you won’t have to shop for brand new jeans every year.

6) Become brand loyal. Not for any other reason than you know that a certain brand fits. It’s more than likely that the fit will be consistent as long as your body isn’t changing.

7) Find a tailor. As you develop more of a squat butt it gets tougher and tougher to find clothes that fit perfectly unless you buy a size too big and then pay to get them altered. Rack it up to the cost of being fit.

I know there are jean designers out there now who cater to the lifters. I didn’t mention them because I’ve yet to try on a pair of their jeans. If you know of a good brand and want to share, do so in the comment section below.

Until next time…Stay Jacked, Stay Strong.